Hindsight

As you know, we didn't know Daniel had Down syndrome before he was born. We didn't do any testing, but we did do the 20 week ultrasound and nothing looked out of the ordinary. However, looking back, there was one obvious sign that something was different. His movements.

It took longer for me to feel him move than I expected for a third child. It also took longer to start feeling him regularly. Then once I was feeling him every day, and *I* could sometimes see the movements from the outside, nobody else ever saw them. As many times as I put Brian's hand on my belly, he didn't feel any obvious movements. Daniel never kicked me hard enough that it hurt. He never pushed up into my ribs enough to make me uncomfortable. He didn't ever make those huge, rolling, there's an alien in my belly type movements.

I wondered about all that. I didn't really worry though. I was feeling him often, so I just figured he was mellower or it was different because it was a third pregnancy. Looking back now it's obvious to me that his low muscle tone is what made the difference. I probably wouldn't have thought about it at all if it was my first or second kid. Anyway. Just something I noticed that made sense once he was here. I imagine I'll be hyper aware of this if I'm ever pregnant again.

More thoughts

After some excellent comments on my last post, I wanted to clarify something- I most certainly understand why people do testing, even if they wouldn't terminate the pregnancy. Testing gives you more time to process. It give you time to prepare, mentally and emotionally. There's definitely nothing wrong with wanting to know ahead of time. In fact, before Daniel was born I wondered if people who were surprised by babies with Down syndrome (or some other diagnosis) wished they had done the tests.

I was serious when I said that I'd thought about it a lot. I considered how things would have been different if we'd known before he was born. I thought about how I might have felt about a prenatal diagnosis (obviously I thought about that, since that's what I wrote about last time.) And it's only now, on the other side of things, that I'm completely sure not testing was the right choice for us.

And now I'll stop talking about this.

My thoughts on prenatal testing

If you've read my Finding Out post, you know that Daniel's diagnosis was a surprise. We opted not to do prenatal testing (for any of my pregnancies) for a couple big reasons.

First: I am young. At 29 my chances of having a baby with Down syndrome were roughly 1 in 1000. I have no risk factors. The risk of miscarriage caused by the more invasive testing were considerably higher than my risk of having a baby with Down syndrome (or any other chromosomal abnormality) was. The odds were in our favor, so why do the testing?

Second: This is probably a bigger reason than the first- we wouldn't have terminated the pregnancy.

So the question a couple people have asked since he was born is: Do I wish I had done prenatal testing so that I could have prepared for this? And having had a chance to think about it (a lot) my answer is no. If we had gotten this diagnosis before he was born I would have wondered about false positives. I would have worried about when to tell people. I don't know that it would have felt real.

Getting the diagnosis after he was born was certainly a lot to take in. But Brian and I both manage pretty well with changes that come our way. I think if we had gotten the diagnosis before he was born, that's all I would have thought about. Once Daniel was here though, HE was what mattered. Yes, he has Down syndrome. He also has a lot of hair, and big feet, and blue eyes. He is soft and tiny, just like our other babies were. Daniel is a baby, not a diagnosis, and I thinking getting a prenatal diagnosis would have made that harder for me to see.

So no, I wouldn't have done things differently. Besides, now that he's here it's impossible to imagine not wanting him, not having him, not loving him.

38 weeks

Still pregnant over here. I had my 38 week check up on Thursday and things still look okay. The swelling is worse but not bad enough that my doctor is worried. A little protein in my urine but my blood pressure is still good. (And I guess high blood pressure is the biggest worry anyway.)

This is one of the 5 shirts I have the cover my entire belly (including that swollen bottom part) and my legs are so swollen that the only pants I fit into are a pair of black maternity pajama pants (that should be loose fitting, but definitely aren't.)

For those of you interested in the TMI part of the end of pregnancies: First cervix check was Thursday and I'm 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced and she stripped my membranes (I asked her to.) I've been having contractions on and off since then but nothing serious yet. Really hoping it will kick in soon though!

What the kids think about baby #3

You guys, I wish you could see how excited Kalena is for this new baby. She is seriously thrilled. She says good morning and goodnight to him every day; she kisses my belly any time she kisses me; she tells him she wants to meet him soon. It is all just adorable. Also, for a long time she thought she'd be able to see him as my belly got bigger, so she kept lifting up my shirt to look. I explained several times that she wouldn't be able to see him until he was actually BORN, and I think she finally got it.

She likes to point out to me that my belly is getting bigger because the baby is getting bigger. And she understands that I do certain things because I'm pregnant, which I didn't think she would be old enough to get. For instance, she knows I eat certain things (eggs, nuts, etc) because "they're good for the baby" (and my gestational diabetes.) She knows I check my blood sugar to "make sure the baby is okay" (aka, my blood sugar is at a good level.) And last time I went to the doctor she didn't want me to go because she thought it meant something was wrong with the baby. She kept telling me the baby was okay and I didn't need to go to the doctor. She was fine after I explained that the doctor was just checking on him.

She promises that she'll be helpful (she usually is) and that she'll love him (I'm sure she will.) And all this is good because Will? Does not think I'm having a baby. If you point to my belly and say, "What's in there? A baby?" He'll say, "No! DINOSAUR!" Every. Single. Time. I'm hoping the transition won't be too hard on him.

Also, every time Will says that it makes me think of this:

(image from here)

He's going to be disappointed.

37 weeks

Yes, yes I have given up entirely on real pants.

I don't know if you can really tell from this picture or not, but the bottom part of my belly (like underneath my belly button) is definitely swollen. My OB even commented on it at my appointment on Thursday. I think it makes my belly look funny. 

Anyway, fingers crossed that this baby comes SOON! (No doubt you are going to get REALLY sick of hearing that from me before the baby actually gets here.)

A little concerned

I am starting to feel nervous about getting this baby delivered. Not about the actual delivery so much, but nervous that it won't happen soon enough. See, I'm starting to have swelling in my legs and the lower part of my belly. It's not super obvious swelling, but it is painful. It's been going on for a week or so, and it seems to be getting worse. It used to subside overnight but it isn't anymore. Also, I've gained 3 lbs or so in about the last week and I'm pretty sure it's all water weight since I haven't changed my diet. I know that swelling during pregnancy is normal and all that, but this is definitely concerning me.

Also? At my 37 week appointment on Thursday the nurse said there was a little protein in my urine. Not enough to be concerning (yet) and we laughed it off as being caused by the fact that pretty much my whole diet is protein, but still. Not something you want to see.

If you're like me and you read way too much about pregnancy and possible complications, you'll know that swelling and protein in the urine can both be indicators of preeclampsia. And you know what else? Having gestational diabetes puts me at higher risk for developing preeclampsia! (The awesomeness of gestational diabetes just NEVER STOPS.)

Of course, all of this could mean nothing. I don't have any swelling in my face and my blood pressure continues to be awesome (both big indicators of preeclampsia.) But it's still making me nervous. The cure for preeclampsia is simple: deliver the baby. Since I'm full term that's not a problem EXCEPT! If the baby needs delivered and I'm not in labor that would usually mean labor induction. Only, because I had a c-section with Kalena it's reeeeallly not a great idea to induce (risk of uterine rupture goes up.) And I so DO NOT want another c-section. (Having experienced both I have many thoughts on that. But that's  for another post.)

Anyway, there's really nothing I can do about any of it, which just makes things worse. And that's why I'm blogging about it.

This getting a little ridiculous

I had my 37 week appointment today where the nurse informed me that my iron levels are a little low and I should start taking iron supplements. So, with the iron added into the equation, here's what I take on a daily basis:

~ a low dose aspirin. This is preventative because I have Factor V Leiden which puts me at risk for blood clots. I'm heterozygous (only one copy of the gene) so it's not a super high risk, but it's still there.
~ 4 mg of folic acid. I don't have a prescription for it, and the highest dose you can get over the counter is 800 mcg so I take 5 of them. This is because I have a homozygous MTHFR mutation. In short, an MTHFR mutation affects they way your body absorbs folic acid, and since folic acid is VERY IMPORTANT during pregnancy, the best way to counteract is to overload your body with folic acid.
~ Prilosec. For heartburn, obviously. My doctor okayed it when I told her that I was taking 6 or 8 tums a day and still having heartburn. Also, it's good that I'm taking it instead of tums since tums have sugar in them.
~ And iron. The nurse told me it will take about 2 weeks to build up and get my iron levels back up. Then she said that would be perfect because it will be up just in time for me to have the baby. And I thought, "GAH. Please don't let it be 2 more weeks before I have this baby!"

Then there's also the Benadryl I take pretty regularly for those awesome pregnancy-enhanced allergies. Also Tylenol, mostly for my legs, which ache pretty constantly. (And wake me up at night- pretty fabulous.) (The Tylenol doesn't really help, but it at least makes me feel like I'm doing something.)

Anyway, I'm looking forward to not having to take a million pills every day when this pregnancy is over.

36 weeks

I had my 36 week appointment yesterday and things still look good. The nurse asked me how the gestational diabetes diet is going and I said, "It's good. I mean, I hate it, but I'm still doing it." She gave me a sympathetic smile and then informed that I haven't gained any weight. If I stay on this track this will be the least weight I've gained during a pregnancy.

Anyway, I'll be switching to weekly appointments now and I'm REALLY hoping I don't have to have 4 of them before this baby comes. I'm ready, and the doctor says as soon as baby is ready (i.e. I go into labor) we're all set. So HOORAY! Since Kalena came 8 days late and Will only came 3 days early I'm pretty sure it's delusional of me to believe this baby might come at the beginning of March. However, that delusion is one of the few things keeping me sane, so I'll just continue believing it mkay?

So yeah. 36 weeks.

35 weeks

I realized yesterday that I STILL haven't preregistered at the hospital, something I was supposed to do at 6 months. WHOOPS. So I called to set up my appointment, but the lady is out of the office until Monday. I guess I will be calling again then. I wouldn't worry about it too much since I already had a baby at this hospital, but since I had Will they've opened a new maternity wing (it was finished like the month after he was born) and have a whole bunch of new registration policies apparently. Hopefully they won't lecture me about how late I am in getting this done.

In other news, it has not mattered at all that I am ignoring the nutritionist's warning about weight gain (or laying off the cheese and butter.) Since I saw her I've actually lost weight. This means I am currently up 25 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. Which is exactly where I was at 25 weeks. I've fluctuated some, but I lost weight while I had that stupid cough, gained it back, then lost it again since I've been eating low carb. It's weird for me, because I gained weight very steadily while I was pregnant with Kalena and with Will. And I think that's all for now. What's new with you?

34 weeks

Once again, your weekly look at my growing belly. And my disheveled hair.

I would just like to add here that I ALSO have a cold now, so that's pretty awesome. And by the way, anyone who tells you that carb cravings will go away after a few days on a low carb diet? Giant liars. Or maybe just not pregnant. Seriously, these days I look longingly at things like cold cereal and bread. I'm a little pathetic.

The nutritionist

I visited the nutritionist yesterday and she was kind of mean to me. Okay, that's not really true. But she did say several things that made me think, "Well that's just mean to say to someone who's 8 months pregnant." Mostly it was obvious to me that what she does probably 99% of the time is educate people about diabetes IN GENERAL, not about gestational diabetes. And maybe you're thinking, "Elsha, isn't gestational diabetes pretty much the same thing as diabetes in general?" Which, yes it is. HOWEVER. She focused on many things that I don't think are all that big a deal if I'm only looking at eating like this for the next 6 weeks.

For instance: I eat a lot of eggs right now. And she was concerned that too much egg yolk would be high in cholesterol. Yeah, if I were looking at this diet as a permanent, lifelong change I would worry about that too. But when it's for 6 weeks (or less!) and eggs are one of the few things that for sure don't spike my blood sugar? I don't really care about yolks.

She also told me I shouldn't cook things in butter or put cheese on everything. COME ON. I can't eat dessert, or cold cereal, or pasta, or have juice or my nightly hot chocolate! Why do you want to take away two of the GOOD things in a low carb diet? Plus she was very concerned about weight gain, which, um, I'm pregnant? Shouldn't I be gaining some weight still? (She recommended 1/2 lb over the next 6 weeks!) (My doctor nixed that recommendation today, btw. She said my weight gain has been fine and not to worry about it.)

ANYWAY. She did also tell me that it seems like I've done a good job educating myself, and she was impressed that I've already been keeping track of my blood sugar and keeping a food journal. (This is the engineer in me. I hit google as soon as I found out I'd failed the 3 hour.) She was also impressed with how familiar I am with reading labels- do other people not read labels? Doing Weight Watchers twice has made me VERY familiar with labels. AND she said I'm close enough to the end of pregnancy that I don't need to do a follow up visit with her, so that's nice. Still not convinced this visit was worth it though.

In which I annoy even myself

You guys, this is about to be a whole lot of whiny, so if you're not in the mood for that just click away!

Here's the thing. I am SO DONE with being pregnant right now. Yes, the gestational diabetes sucks, but if it were just that I'd be okay. But it's not. I'm sore. Like, my whole body aches all the time for no reason. And you know what I can do for that? Take Tylenol! Which does NOTHING! This is making it hard for me to sleep, which means I'm tired all the time. Everything makes me have contractions- getting up from sitting or laying down, getting into a car, getting out of a car, picking up one of the kids, standing up for too long, going up or down stairs (which is pretty unavoidable in a 2 story house with a basement.) It sucks. And although my cough is better, the effects are lingering. If I laugh too hard or talk (or you know, read to the kids) for too long I start coughing again. I easily drink 64 oz of water a day just keeping myself from coughing. (I know the water is good for me, but I'd like to drink it JUST for hydration, ya know?)

Anyway, I'm annoyed at myself for being one of those women who says, "I'm done" because I KNOW how important it is for the baby to get to term. I KNOW that complications of having a preemie would be WAY worse than the discomforts I'm dealing with now. I KNOW that this baby will never be easier to care for (or more portable!) than right now while I'm pregnant. And I KNOW that I should be seriously grateful that I'm not dealing with actual complications, like pre-eclamsia or  preterm labor. But knowing all those things is not stopping me from counting the days until the end. (And hoping this baby comes a smidge early.)

33 weeks

Ah yes, 33 weeks already. I had a doctor's appointment today. My doctor expressed her annoyance that the nutritionist can't see me about my gestational diabetes until Feb. 9th. What she said was, "No. That's too long. You'll be almost done by then." And then she got her nurse to call and try to change the appointment.  But APPARENTLY this nutritionist only works part time and that is the very first time she can see me. 

Part of me is annoyed because, YEAH, I am going to be almost done by then. But mostly annoyed that they're making me go at all. Because seriously? I've done my research. I'm on the low carb diet. I have a glucose meter, and I know how to test my blood sugar. Can they not just trust me to do it right on my own? I'm pretty sure this nutritionist lady isn't going to tell me anything I didn't already read on Google. (And seriously, if my blood sugars continue to be good I'm going to call the nurse next week and ask if I really, REALLY have to see the nutritionist.) 

On the upside, I'm not measuring big, so that's good.

Failed again.

I knew the glucose test was going to be especially fun when I woke up at 2 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep until 4 am.  Because the only thing better than getting up at 6 to get blood drawn (repeatedly) is to do it on not enough sleep!

Anyway, I had forgotten how sweet the 3 hour stuff is.  The 1 hour stuff tastes like flat soda to me, so I have no problem drinking it.  The 3 hour stuff, on the other hand?  Is like drinking sno-cone syrup.  It was so sweet I felt like it should have been thicker.  But I got it down and the blood draws commenced.  I have about one good vein, so it's bruised all to hell (even though the nurse who did the 3rd blood draw managed to get a different vein.)

If you don't know how a 3 hour glucose test works, here are the basics.  You go in fasting 10-12 hours (hence first thing in the AM.)  They draw blood to check fasting sugar levels, then you drink the nasty sugar drink and then wait.  They draw blood again after 1, 2, and 3, hours.

At the last blood draw the nurse asked me if I wanted to know the numbers and OF COURSE I did.  Obviously she couldn't give me the number for the blood she'd just taken, but I figured if the others were good I'd be fine.  Here's what I learned:

Acceptable Numbers                   My numbers
Fasting: less than 95 (mg/dL)      83 (mg/dL) perfectly fine
1 hour:  less than 180                  255 Not okay
2 hour:  less than 155                  217 Not even okay for the 1 hour reading- HA HA HA.
3 hour:  less than 140                  Well they didn't have it yet, but considering the other ones I'm gonna guess IT DOESN'T MATTER.

So yes, it's welcome to gestational diabetes for me.  *sigh*

32 weeks

Well, we're getting to the end of things here, aren't we?  And be "we" I mean "me" and by "things" I mean "pregnancy."  Brian and I were joking about how getting gestational diabetes would really just top things off for this pregnancy.  Because it would mean I spent essentially the whole time sick with one thing or another.  At least I haven't had kidney stones right?  (When I was pregnant with Kalena I had kidney stones.  NOT FUN.)

At least I have an early morning gestational diabetes test tomorrow to look forward to!  Oh wait.

More fun blood draws!

The nurse from my doctor's office called this morning.  As soon as I saw the phone number I knew what she was going to say- I failed the 1 hour glucose test.  This means I (once again) get to participate in the super-duper fun 3 hour glucose test!  Awesome right?  The nurse told me she'd fax the order over today and I can go anytime this week, but I'll be going in on Friday.  It's not that I'm putting it off (really I'd like to get it over with) but my dad has Fridays off so he'll watch the kids if I go then.  And I think we can all agree that 3 hour glucose test with zero toddlers will at least be more enjoyable than 3 hour glucose test with two toddlers.

I had to do the 3 hour glucose when I was pregnant with Will, but I've looked through the archives and can't see that I actually wrote about it, so here's what I remember.  I didn't fail that 3 hour, but I did have 1 high reading (I don't know the number, or how much higher than the cutoff it actually was.)  My doctor just recommended that I stay away from concentrated sugar (no soda, no dessert, etc.) and that was that.  If I remember right, it was the 3rd blood draw that was high (the 3rd of the 4) and the lab techs had a particularly difficult time doing that draw.  I tend to not have great veins and there's really only one that ever works but by the 3rd stick it was not cooperating.  Anyway, point being- that draw ended up being like 35 minutes late by the time they actually got it to work.  (I'm not sure if that affected anything, but that's how it happened.)

I do warn them, by the way, that I tend to have bad veins.  I've found the lab techs pay more attention and are more likely to get it on the first shot if I say that.  Plus they're more likely to bring in whoever is the bad vein "expert" if they start having trouble.

Anyway.  Fun times for Friday.

31 weeks

I forgot to mention that I *did* talk to my doctor about my forever long cough when I was there last week. She listened to my lungs and said they sounded clear so it was nothing to worry about.  And I am feeling MUCH better, by the way.  Only took like 6 weeks.  So here I am, 31 weeks along.

Less than 10 weeks to go.  We don't have a name picked out yet.  Definitely the longest we've gone without settling on a name.  When I was pregnant with Kalena we picked out her name, but we also picked out a boys name.  And used that name for Will.  Apparently we were only capable of agreeing on 2 names.  I'm sure we'll get it figured out eventually.

30 weeks in: so far so good

At my OB appointment last month, my doctor gave me the paperwork to go get my glucose tolerance test done.  I asked when I needed to do it and my doctor replied, "Oh, anytime you want."  And then turned around and looked at me and said, "Before your next appointment."  I sort of laughed to myself because OF COURSE I would get it done sometime in the next 4 weeks.  No problem right?  At that point I'd had my cough for about 2 weeks and I figured it'd be over soon (HA!)  So I was waiting to get better.  And waiting, and waiting, and waiting.  By this Monday I was coughing less, so I figured sometime later in the week I'd go do the test.  Then Tuesday evening I got a message from my OB's office reminding me of my appointment the next day.  WHOOPS.  Fortunately for me, I'd scheduled the appointment for late in the afternoon.  That left me time between Brian coming home from school (noon) and the OB appointment (4:20) to get the glucose test done.  Anyway, that's mostly just a long story to tell you that I did my glucose test yesterday.  I'd tell you the results, but the doctor's office didn't have them yet.  Apparently they'll call if I need to go in for the 3 hour test.  (I didn't have to with Kalena, but I did with Will.)

So.  Then I had my appointment.  I don't know if this is a third child thing, but I am paying way less attention this time around.  I know my blood pressure is good because the nurse always tells me the numbers (100 over 70 yesterday.)  I think I've gained about 27 lbs- ish.  That's based on my home scale.  And a guess at my pre-pregnancy weight.  Also, pretty sure I had gained more and I've lost some while I've been sick.  I don't know what I'm measuring (I assume she'd tell me if it was too far off) or what the heartbeat is (again, I assume she'd tell me if something was wrong.)  I also have a hard time keeping track of just how far along I am, but I think that's mostly because *my* dates have me changing weeks on Fridays, the original ultrasound dates had me changing weeks on Thursdays, but somehow the due date they gave me (based on that original ultrasound) has me changing weeks on Wednesdays.  I don't know how that happened.

Anyway, apparently I'm now moving to the every other week appointments.  And since I'm 31 weeks (yesterday, today, or tomorrow DEPENDING) I'm officially down to the single digits for weeks left.  Whoa.

30 weeks

Well, I made it 3/4 of the way through.  Don't know how that's possible since I've been sick for this WHOLE ENTIRE PREGNANCY.  Alright, that's probably a little bit of an exaggeration but it started with 14 weeks of round the clock nausea, then daily headaches, then a stomach bug, then this ridiculous cough.  I would like to be well when I have this baby.  Is that too much to ask?

Anyway, here I am.  In the best non-maternity maternity dress ever.  (Compliments of Kari.)