Yesterday started off great. The baby slept all night. Kalena woke up happy. I was on top of a healthy breakfast AND lunch. I did the dishes. I even started some laundry. But then something happened. It doesn't even matter what; it was nobody's fault. Yet that one little incident made me feel like a total failure.
I know it shouldn't have, but it did. I felt the way I used to feel in college when I would study and study and study and feel like I was ready for a test and then fail it anyway. Like it didn't matter how hard I worked at it, I was never going to get there. This isn't college though, there's no scheduled test date, it's just life. Things like this are going to happen. Days like this are going to happen. I guess the best I can do is just pick myself up and move on. I wish I had some eloquent "lesson learned" speech, but I don't. I just hope tomorrow is a better day.
I know it doesn't matter, but I still want to know what it was, anyway.
ReplyDeleteI totally feel like my life is a joke sometimes, when I've just been boppin' along thinking everything's great and someone calls me out on my personal failings... makes me want to die.
Oh, wait, not me. YOU.
But honestly, I think I know how you feel, and I'm sorry! You're not a failure!
I'm sorry that your day was terrible, and you're definitely NOT a failure! That said, I think we need to know what happened.
ReplyDeleteI had one of those "failure" moments yesterday - I called Joe from work at 7:30 and he was in a TERRIBLE mood because he'd just gotten dinner on the table. I hadn't made him anything! I hadn't even defrosted anything for HIM to make! I felt horrible. So I sat at work itching to get home to cook him meals for the rest of his life, PLUS I'll never leave unfolded laundry on the bed or leave the house un-vaccumed, and I SWEAR I'll always wear makeup and look pretty for him, because all of a sudden I am a FAILURE. At EVERYTHING!
ReplyDeleteHe was totally fine when I got home, so I'm back to being lazy and blogging instead of cleaning/cooking.