Wednesday, March 25, 2009

To various people

Dear Neighbors,

I love dogs; we have two over here. But listening to your dog yapping outside our fence at 5:45 am is REALLY starting to get on my nerves. Do you not hear him or do you just not care? I'm not sure which is worse.

Dear Kalena,

I know you're a morning person, but when you refuse to go to sleep until 3 full hours past your normal bedtime couldn't you sleep in just a little bit? Like at least until the sun comes up? Thanks.

Dear Weight Watchers,

I love you. Seriously. LOVE.

Dear Coworker,

No matter how hard you try, you're never going to make me feel guilty about not doing your job for you.

Dear Self,

When you're putting Kalena's clothes in the washer, ALWAYS check the upstairs bathroom first or you WILL miss something.

P.S. If you hadn't left those diet cokes in the freezer until they exploded you could be having one right now. Also, you wouldn't have to clean frozen diet coke off the inside of the ice maker.

Anyone have anything they want to add?


  1. I completely understand on the baby thing. Our kids do the same thing!

  2. if i ever put a drink in the freezer to get cold, i ALWAYS seem to have an explosion too! i can never remember to take it out...

  3. Ha ha ha. I have exploded soda in the freezer, too. Makes you jump right out of your seat, think for a minute then it sets in...."Dang! I AM that stupid!". Note to the dog owners, your dog obviously wants in and we all want to sleep! I agree with that one. We had a noisy dog in our neighborhood. I just talk to the owners... Usually people feel bad if they know they have disturbed anyone. Thanks for the funny read!

  4. I have one and I can only write it here because I KNOW they won't read this:

    Dear Friend,
    I know you have much to complain about and I don't mind listening...for awhile. Life isn't fair, so get used to it. Everybody is NOT after you. You make more money then most, so stop saying you are so poor. Everything does not need to be a crisis. I dare you to say something positive - just once. Thanks.

    (That was fun. And I feel better.)

  5. I've wondered about owners of yappy dogs. Is it like parents of perma-screamy children? Do they just tune it out?

  6. We found a dog bark zapper thing in Sky Mall mag that we're gonna buy. You should too.

  7. Dear Ms. Thompson,

    Thank you for teaching me how to write the "perfect" letter. This skill has come in very handy.

  8. I love it, Elsha! I don't know Mardi, but I've known many people like the one she's writing to. :)

  9. Dear Kari,
    I'm seriously thinking about shipping Missy to your house because it's been a little while since you've seen her. Keep checking the mail!

  10. I have many friends like the one Mardi is writing to but I never grow weary listening to them because when they're done I hand them a bill for $150.

  11. Good for you Elsha! One of our Jazzercise instructors just became a Weight Watchers leader. You should look into it (Jazzercise, I mean). I've lost 25+ lbs since Jordan was born.


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